CIRCLE OF THE 3 ERRORS AND PROBLEMS YOU WANTED

***4.1 THE CIRCLE OF THREE ERRORS

We have given this name to a Vicious Circle that our mind builds and in which we get completely trapped. That is why it is the first thing to attack/break in order to regain Control and move forward with strength in our Adjustment Process:

IDENTIFICATION (LABELLING) + DEPENDENCY (CREATED NEED) + SENSE OF TRUTH.

This is how it works: You learn to call a bunch of changing things “I” and “me”; then you create a pile of needs around those 2 labels and finally you spend your life doing whatever it takes to get them, whatever it takes not to lose them and suffering like a beggar when you lose them or they don’t meet your expectations.

Do not philosophize on this matter; observe how the environment uses infinite mechanisms to format us:

Would you think, feel and act the same if you were born in another environment and/or another era? No. Have your “labels/identifications” and “needs” changed over the years? Yes, they have.

I repeat: UNDOING THE CIRCLE OF THE 3 ERRORS (C3) IS THE MOST IMPORTANT STEP TO ACHIEVE A REAL QUALITY OF LIFE. Believe it or not, all human suffering and conflict stems from it. That is why we are going to analyse in detail its 3 components:

 

4.1.1. FUNDAMENTAL ERROR Nº1: “I AM” (IDENTIFICATION OR LABELLING).

False identifications.

When I believe that “I AM this or that” or that “This is MY family, work, partner…” I tend to depend excessively on all this Labeling. We call it Misidentification when we box our Real Identity (what we ARE) using Learned Mental Identifications (what we think we are). Everything I call “ME AND/OR MINE” are IDEAS AND STATES; but we live them as ENDURING TRUTHS because we identify with them; so when they start to change or run out we get really upset and start railing against whatever it is that is “to blame” for such a serious affront. We aim for anything but our identifications.

Identification with our body (experiential tool) is the most powerful of all, because all the others come after it. We are not our body, the Vital Energy that We Are is in our body, we don’t recognise it because we don’t see it, but we can feel it. If you are your body why do you say “my body hurts”? Let’s see if we clarify.

Let’s remember that another identification that tends to block our Potentials is the identification with our “way of being”. We are not our way of being, we are a Being that takes a form and uses it in one way or another according to a series of programs (innate and learned). Your “way of being” is the result of the functioning of that internal software (this is where you have to reprogram/adjust to improve the results).

You do not live your Real Self or the Real World, you live an “I/World Idea” which, as we have seen, is a mental Interpretation of a manipulated version of your Real Self/World (Capabilities and Possibilities). The Importance of the matter requires a review: Your Learned Mental Model (Ideal Self/World) directs your Attention and manages your Capabilities; the result is your “Experience Self” (the messes you get into). Then it looks at what happened and judge it. Mind-boggling: First it manipulates you and then it judges you. WHAT DO WE EXPECT BY FUNCTIONING LIKE THIS?

Our whole life revolves around what we call “me or mine” and from these identifications come judgments, needs/dependencies, expectations, desires and fears, our state of mind… From the vice of LABELLING/CONCEPTING the world, others or ourselves according to our Personal Mental Model come the vast majority of our “problems”. As soon as we create our I/World Idea we tend to take it as the absolute Reality and block any opportunity for improvement (What am I going to do? That’s the way things ARE). When we label ourselves, others or the world we are trying to “dissect” Reality (which is pure changing diversity). How is it possible that we want Reality to adapt to our Model? And how does Reality warn us that it doesn’t like to be designed? Look at the results. Reality “speaks” like this: IF THERE IS DISCOMFORT AND/OR CONFLICT YOU HAVE SOMETHING TO LEARN/ADJUST. Get on with it; any other approach (complaints, excuses, postponements…) is wrong.

What can prevent us from reprogramming false identifications?

Identifications are very resistant for 2 reasons: because we have been using them non-stop all our lives (I-me-you…) and because our Real Self is not perceptible by the senses.

It is very important to realise that our brain is an extraordinarily SPECULATIVE system; it is logical because it has to help us survive in a multi-variable and uncertain scenario. But it likes too much to pass on the hypotheses it develops; once it is convinced of something it is very difficult for it to change its “point of view”. Because he wants certainty, he tends to deny evidence and confirm anything that is in favor of his beliefs; this Confirmatory Bias (lack of flexibility) is our biggest problem in making the Adjustments we need to improve our Quality of Life. Identifications are also subject to this bias.

Our mind focuses on the forms it perceives and the formats (names, adjectives and concepts) it attributes to them. It is not trained to focus on the more intimate and subtle sensations of our Real Self. We will have to insist to realise that the sensations coming from our energetic/capacitive background are more real, permanent and independent than what we perceive through the senses that, day by day, we consider as our only reality.

Working with the “invisible” has always given human beings many problems, since our investigations in this respect usually end up (for a change) in beliefs and manipulations that tend to divide us into two positions: THOSE WHO BELIEVE that there is “something” more than what is perceived but invent it – the Spiritualist approach – and THOSE WHO BELIEVE that there is not and call the others believers – the Materialist approach -. It seems that we have to choose, but there is a third option which is to investigate with seriousness and prudence our deepest sensations, that is to say that background or field that We Are and not to draw conclusions so soon – Empiricist approach –. This position is the one we propose in the Method of Adjustments and is based on the experimental/scientific method, it is about understanding that it is a mistake to believe or deny anything that we have not personally verified. It requires a minimum of observation/reflection on Reality that allows us to put forward reasonable hypotheses to experiment with them and observe if the Results – our Experience – allow us to consider them true or not with a degree of probability and being attentive to the appearance of new data.

Reprogramming of identifications.

Whatever we are we already are, we don’t have to invent anything (souls and such). We have to prevent our mind from replacing our “ego/character” with a “spiritualizing super-ego of the hills”. Our Real Self will simply appear in our Experiences as we undo the false identifications that cover it (we don’t have to look for it, we have to un-cover it; because it is already there). In order to persist in this all-important work, we must understand that the false identifications are completely erroneous and see clearly how they control us and complicate our lives. It is a matter of prudently experimenting in this direction in order to realise with the utmost clarity that we cannot be the changeable, the impermanent and at the same time remain the same/maintain our identity.

Little by little, we will gradually feel a more stable and unaffected BACKGROUND POSITION. It is a matter of training it, to FEEL it more and more frequently and intensely, and to dismantle the false identifications, that is to say: Translation of the “I” and Mental Cleansing. We must progressively introduce it into our consciousness, feel it and stay in it, learning to observe our body and mind from there, their states and movements, so that it will be easier and easier for us to control them and be less affected by them.

As we distinguish Being (the permanent) from changing states and labels (both impermanent) we will see that the Real Self was no joke; because the importance of our states, circumstances and belongings will become more relative; and we will be able to manage them better without becoming attached to them, with greater control over our decisions.

To begin to feel our Real Self, we will train our Observation of the physical body, its sensations and natural processes – breathing, relaxation… – to be able to feel the Energy that we are and to calm our restless and conditioned mind.

Questions for the reprogramming of the identifications:

The procedure to clear these beliefs from our subconscious is to analyse it by asking RELIABLE AND SIMPLE QUESTIONS, TO CLEARLY SEE/FELT THE ERROR AND ITS CONSEQUENCES. That vision will provide us with the necessary IMPACT to reprogram our subconscious and regain Control over our Experiential Capabilities. The questions may be along these lines:

-Who or what do I think I am?

-If everything I call “I” changes or can change, where does the certainty of always being the same person come from?

-Who observes and notices what my body and mind are doing?

-Why do I say “my body” or “I have a body”? Who has it?

-Is it possible that my body appeared out of nowhere? And what does it stand on?

-What intelligence maintains all the vegetative activity of my body without “me” knowing anything about it?

How far-fetched is the hypothesis of the existence of an intelligent energy that is using it with some evolutionary intention?

-Could my sense of Identity come from that energy embodied in a psychosomatic vehicle-object that I sometimes call me and sometimes call my own?

-Why don’t most people have an inner sense of being the age of their physical body?

-How do my “beliefs about who I am” influence my decisions and way of living?

-Am I developing my true Capabilities and concerns or am I functioning with fears and expectations from my identifications?

 

***4.1.2. FUNDAMENTAL ERROR Nº2. – “I NEED” (BELIEVED NEEDS)

Setting conditions to be well.

We BELIEVE that in order to be well we need to have this or that we don’t need that to happen. We have already seen how these needs are generated, that the only Real ones are those linked to survival and that any other may be desirable but not necessary.  OUR PROBLEMS BEGIN WHEN OUR LEARNED DESIRES (PROGRAMMED BY THE ENVIRONMENT) REACH THE LEVEL OF NEED. You will understand the importance of a brief review of this mistake:

OUR BODY IS SUBJECTED TO REALITY, BUT OUR MIND IS NOT; it goes about reconstructing and interpreting it; creating dependencies and needs without distinguishing the real ones from the ones that are not. It then uses the chemistry of emotions to give them credibility, as the emotion is real…so is the need. So something that is virtual and only in our mind, becomes a physical sensation and we pass it on to Real. As long as our Ideal Self/World and Idea Self/World do not conform to Reality, we will have a constant feeling that something is missing and we will not be able to value what we have or fully enjoy it.

CREATED/BELIEVED NEEDS are the source of most of our dependencies, desires, fears, expectations, insecurities, delusions, conflicts and discomforts. They are what give circumstances control over our Life and our Well-being. We can have goals, desire pleasant things and reject unpleasant things, but without depending on them; in other words, maintaining control over our Affective and Executive Capacities in order to be able to make the most appropriate decisions at any given moment.

The Method of Adjustments proposes this equivalence: REAL QUALITY OF LIFE = CAPACITIES – NEEDS. I found it simple and it describes quite well what is happening to us:

If you convey to a person that they have more rights than duties, and instead of helping them to really enable their Capabilities you teach them to create needs… You are sowing discomfort and conflict!  The real Quality of Life of a person with such a profile is false and very problematic. Apply the example to a country and it becomes even clearer; asking seems easier than contributing, but it is much more painful and it is not sustainable: start adding people with that profile and you will get the social result you have in front of your nose (why am I going to expand).

There are two ways to reduce our Real Quality of Life: not covering basic needs or covering more needs than necessary. Excess needs impoverish us all. Having said that, what we propose in the Adjustment Game is to enable the Development of our Capacities and the Control of “our needs”; that is:

1. Controlling our Affective Capacity in order to direct it towards objectives that are more suitable for our real self-development/empowerment and that of others.
2. Correctly use our Understanding Capacity (Intelligence) to achieve a wider and more adjusted vision of Reality, which allows us to replace our ego-logical beliefs with more reasonable Criteria.
3. Strengthen our Executive Capacity to act in a positive, constructive and harmonious way (Suma).

THIS IS THE APPLICATION OF THE THREE STEPS (I know we are going round in circles, but see if you have something better to do).

We have to reasonably cover our basic or natural needs; the rest are possible goals we can set ourselves to increase our Real Quality indicators: Enjoyment, Learning, Satisfaction and Sum. Please it is very important that you do not fool yourself and look to see if your enjoyment and learning are rather apparent and if your satisfaction and sum are real/stable.

Our mind is a very useful and powerful tool; the right thing to do is to use it to enhance our life experience, not to complicate it. Technological development has gone too fast and we have not yet learned to use it in a balanced way, the logical thing would be to take advantage of it so that we all have our real needs covered and have more time to learn new things, educate our children properly, live more relaxed… If we are so intelligent, why are we so little noticed? What level of consciousness does someone have who expects to get welfare from an economic system that is based on the constant creation of needs? Is that sustainable in the medium-long term? It is incredible that we do not see that.

When we talk about needs we usually think of material things, but usually any non-basic material need usually hides behind it an AFFECTIVE NEED that we don’t realise. The reason for this is that we are taught to value each other and ourselves according to our status and what we have; that is to say… based on appearances and by comparison. Why do they call Models those who appear in most advertisements? The idea is that we associate the product they want to sell us with an appearance and a way of life. Advertising affects us all, although most of us think that it only affects others: we can take a look at our wardrobes, our storage room, our family’s wardrobes, and see how many things we would not have bought if we had thought about it better. How do we dress for a wedding, what face do they give us if we say we are not going on holiday, how do you feel if you forget your mobile phone at home…? In any case, it would be enough if the publicity only affected others; if only a few people buy or do something it is usually enough, because the “need for acceptance”, envy or simple imitation are mental-emotional impulses that push us to “adapt” stupidly to whatever the environment sells us or demands of us. Don’t these things happen to you, and don’t you find it a bit suspicious that only others be deceived?

Anorexia, vigorexia, the addiction to cosmetic surgery or shopping, tattooing one’s face… these are just some of the psychological disorders that have appeared in the society of consumerism and appearances. And; don’t be fooled; these are not voluntary acts: they are conditioned behaviors; aimed at being liked, accepted or appearing “cool”, smart or attractive. OBSERVE WHERE YOU ARE PLACING YOUR IMPORTANCE AND ATTENTION, AND YOU WILL DISCOVER THE BELIEFS THAT HAVE PROGRAMMED YOU AND ARE DIRECTING YOUR LIFE.

As soon as we observe it, we can see how we are affected by the manipulation and systematic messages from our environment: “if you are not handsome, young, appreciated, have money…you will sink into mediocrity and lose the opportunity to be HAPPY…look at us!” “Pursue YOUR DREAMS”; they sell them to you and then they tell you that they are yours. Anyway, let’s take a look at some of the mechanisms that are causing this situation, which, apart from being regrettable, has a very unpromising prognosis:

– Imitation. It can be:

*Conscious or “voluntary”: we want to be like others because we admire them or we simply do not have our own criteria.

*Unconscious or forced: we want to be accepted or to integrate ourselves into a group or mass: family, social, work, sport, etc. Political correctness” is a very serious example of forced imitation.

– Self-importance: it pushes us to appear superior in the hope of feeling a little better, so we judge everything inferior or worse than ourselves, in order to escape our miseries and insecurities.

– Envy: This mechanism is similar to the previous one but with some nuances. Here it is more noticeable that what bothers us is to feel inferior. It is a feeling of discomfort that invades us repeatedly when we see or remember what we consider desirable and that others have or believe they have.

The same thing happens here as with advertising, we tend to think that these things happen to others. From a very early age we are taught the unhealthy habit of comparing ourselves with others; be very clear about this and watch those movements because they complicate our lives a lot. Our Adjustment Process, being based on the progressive and stable achievement of our Real Good, makes these unfortunate mental movements disappear completely.

We have become accustomed to a certain degree of discomfort, dissatisfaction, mood instability, inner and outer conflict…; these may all be “normal” (because they happen to more or less everyone) but they are not natural; in fact they are all signs that we have something to Learn/Adjust. They are warning us that we are wasting our life…that is: our Capacities. It is about enjoying the simple things, reducing the tendency to complicate everything with absurd “needs”.

Importance of this Error

Too many needs and too many problems are the same thing; that is the importance of putting too many conditions to be well. It is the affective needs that are the most treacherous because we associate having and appearing with being appreciated, valued and accepted. In this state we are pressured by our fears and expectations (and those of the others). We always make the same mistakes and stupidities: we don’t enjoy what we have; we usually realise when we lose it and it leaves us with a lot of frustration and crap in our memory. The Fullness is the feeling that nothing is missing, accompanied by the ability to value and enjoy to the fullest what life offers us, without being attached to it. For this to happen, we must reduce our needs and learn to develop what we really are: the capacity to create, love, enjoy, share, collaborate… I know it seems utopian, but it is not utopian at all; it is much easier to function this way than the other way, and it can be achieved without much difficulty by making the adjustments we are indicating.

REMEMBER THIS: Created needs that meet these two requirements are especially problematic: they are affective and we depend on others to satisfy them. For example:

– Needing others to be well: it is one thing to try to support others to overcome their discomfort and quite another to make our state of mind dependent on the state of mind of others. Trying to make people understand that their mood depends only on themselves is the best thing we can do to help them. When we “believe” otherwise, we will spend time helping someone uselessly, then we will tire of the effort it takes to relieve someone who clings to a victim role (which we are reinforcing) and then they will see us as traitors for abandoning them. The best thing to do is to distinguish between mutual collaboration and mutual need or dependence.

– Needing the approval of others: Being appreciated or viewed positively by those around us may be convenient or desirable, but it can never become a necessity. If we are emotionally or emotionally affected by the opinion of others, we are being controlled-manipulated by them. Ask yourself these questions seriously: Does the opinion of others detract from or add to our real value as people? Do we really think that everyone can like us? Could it be that we need the affection of others because we don´t apprciate ourselves? If we don’t value ourselves, we will depend on the appreciation of others, others will notice this and value us less. Strangely enough, we tend to admire the most authentic and independent people, but we do nothing to be like them. The less we need the approval of others…more Real will be the one we get.

 Misunderstandings that lead to Fundamental Error No. 2 (setting conditions for being good)

1.- BELIEVING That our quality of life depends on circumstances and stimuli.

Well-being, satisfaction or fullness is an internal resource; it is also our natural state. It seems incredible but it is so: when we leave this state it is because our mind expels us by provoking a conditioned reaction. All the wellbeing we have felt in our lives has come from within; our subconscious has associated our routines and emotional reactions to certain circumstances so that we now “believe” that we cannot avoid them. OUR SUBCONSCIOUS PROGRAMMING IS THE ONE THAT DECIDES under what conditions we can have our capacity to be well and when we have to be sad, unmotivated, angry or whatever.

2.– BELIEVING that happiness is an external goal or state to be constructed.

We learn to “believe” this because we are convinced that we need both the Self and the World to be or be a certain way – the ideal Self/World. If we think that we will be fine when… we have money, holidays come, a partner and the like, what we are enabling is an over-dependence that will lead to dissatisfaction first and resignation later; it is this feeling that allows us to be sold transient reliefs and imaginary “happiness”. It is not about chasing dreams; it is about waking up from stupidity.

3.– NOT BEING AWARE that everything we are living through is transient and relative.

We all know that circumstances are impermanent, relative and dependent on a multitude of variables; however, we insist that our well-being depends on them.

IN DEFINITIVE: it is impossible to be well and not create a lot of problems as long as we are confused with our Learned Mental Model and we need the world to adapt to it in order to be well.

What can prevent us from reprogramming/adjusting to the needs we have created?

A wrong self-concept: We have already seen that identifying ourselves with the impermanent and relative leads us to value ourselves according to the models and circumstances of each moment. We have learned to value ourselves by our Statuses and Belongings, which makes our self-concept very dependent and insecure. Being focused on status and appearances leads us to a constant creation of material and affective needs. This is why it is so important to correct our identification with our ego-idea-self. As long as we maintain beliefs related to how we and the world “should” or should not be, we will not stop striving and suffering uselessly.

Fear of losing what we have: Changes must be progressive, measured and preceded by a clearer vision and greater control of our life. So changes will be prudent, calm, rational and completely self-controlled. It is easier to lose something when you are too afraid of losing it (dependency); moreover, in that state, it is impossible to really enjoy it.

Pressure from others: Your mind is not the only one that has expectations about what you “should” think, feel or do; the minds of those around you also have expectations about you and your behaviour; and they may not like the changes you intend to make to improve your Real Quality of Life. Some people around us will be used to using us to meet their own needs and when we free ourselves from our dependencies they become frustrated, see it as a kind of infidelity on our part and react with the intention to manipulate us into giving up our improvement project. If we give in here the tables will turn: we will be frustrated and the manipulator will be strengthened. If they are important people in our lives, they may protest, but if they really appreciate us, they will eventually understand the desirability of the changes and may even be interested.

Strategies for adjusting needs.

1- NON-NEGOTIABLE CALM:

We have already mentioned that the most important step in the Adjustment Attitude is to recover our natural state of calm; that pleasant and powerful position that we will be able to consolidate as we install these two instructions in our subconscious:

EVERY NEGATIVE MOVEMENT IS A MENTAL ERROR. We have to understand that any emotional movement comes from a more or 2-less maladjusted judgment that our Model makes. Leaving Calmness is an Error that propitiates many more, because it closes the door to Learning and opens the door to conflict.

EVERYTHING IS NEGOTIABLE EXCEPT INNER CALM. This programming is what will allow us to act spontaneously and firmly in any circumstance, from a reasonable position and in a self-controlled manner (Adjustment Reflex). A calm and open mind is the best position to negotiate the best solutions at any given moment. When you leave Calmness it is because your mind pretends to be right and does not consider understanding the Reality in front of you; you will have already seen that the result in these cases is usually of poor quality.

2- EARLY DETECTION OF EMOTIONAL MOVEMENTS:

It is fundamental for our Adjustment Game that we monitor any negative symptom, however small it may be: nervousness, anger, frustration, worry, discomfort… and stop it immediately. In this way we will progressively weaken these mechanisms and we will be able to consolidate a Position that allows us to analyse the situation more efficiently and find constructive solutions.

3- FOCUS ON THE SOLUTION AND THE GENERATION OF ALTERNATIVES:

To the extent that our Real Self appears in the experiences, we will be able to regain Control of our Capacities and use them appropriately (applying the Basic Technique of the Three Steps). Learning to solve the Challenges that Life presents us with is the Meaning of our Life Experience (Evolutionary Learning).

Questions and images for reprogramming.

Q: Although I have my natural needs reasonably met, I feel that I am lacking.

A: I don’t really lack anything; the only thing I need is to Learn to value and enjoy what I have and/or Life offers me.

Q: Is it reasonable to believe that one can be well by having many material needs or emotional dependencies?

A: My well-being depends solely on my Attitude/Level of Adjustment. Any other approach is wrong.

Q: Why have I given circumstances the ability to influence my state of mind?

A: Because I don’t realise that Calmness is my Natural State and I have allowed “unnecessary needs” to be programmed into my mind; I will detect, review and reprogram them immediately.

Q: How do I know if I am getting the right adjustments?

A: By checking that my negative emotional movements disappear.

In short: It is about reprogramming in our subconscious I DON’T NEED THAT.

 

***4.1.3. FUNDAMENTAL ERROR Nº3. – “I KNOW” (FEELING OF TRUTH)

Sensation of Truth or State of Conviction.

We make this error when we BELIEVE AND FEEL that our point of view is completely true. Intellectually we all recognise that our point of view is personal and relative; we also state that everyone has the right to have his own opinion and to express it freely. But, as soon as we get careless (almost never) we go into “truth mode” and no more sympathetic “positions”. There is no way we can accept anything that contradicts our sacred bag of beliefs. We are incapable of accepting diversity and trying to make the most of it (Suma). This habit, as silly as it is problematic, is due to our eagerness to pretend to have knowledge and security that we do not have.

Our brain knows that the information available to it is limited and ambiguous, so it has been forced to develop speculative skills to enable our survival and development. But, if we are not aware of them and do not monitor them, these speculations become a problem because we pass them off as truth and confuse what we BELIEVE is happening with Reality.

We take as truth what our mind elaborates for the simple reason that it seems true to us; regardless of the fact that we know that what it presents to us is always incomplete, too often false, biased and distorted by our previous beliefs and personal interests. It happens to us constantly because we are not aware that our beliefs depend on our learning and therefore on our environment, so they are completely relative; we feel they are true and we cling to them. We live them with such realism that they do not allow us to contemplate other options; instead of being prudent, open and focused on a greater understanding of situations, our stance is a closed and emotional attitude that predisposes us to discomfort and conflict. Have you ever wondered how it is possible that we make this mistake over and over again?

When our mind convinces us that we are right, prudence ends and with it reasonable doubts, questions and learning. It is very important that we take seriously the evidence that any judgment can be wrong, thus solving most of our problems and conflicts.

Intelligence is a faculty of our Real Self, which is not only capable of creating our physical body and keeping it alive without “us” having to worry about anything, but also, through our mind, enables us to develop an ever wider and deeper understanding of the scenario in which we experience our Life. But that kind of learning requires an open and “detached” attitude (Attitude of Adjustment) to the Circumstances we are presented with; and here is the problem: we do not use reflective observation to understand correctly what happens to us, but manipulate it through the filter of our Pre-Judgments. We use one of our most powerful resources (Intelligence) to elaborate limited and relative concepts and beliefs; thus we create/create a small personal mental world in which we enclose ourselves.

We call it thinking to recombine over and over again in different ways half a dozen fixed ideas; the only thing we achieve in this way is to reinforce our own beliefs and justify our habits. We turn the same things over and over again, comparing them, constantly judging them and defending dogmas against all evidence. We don´t realize that the symptoms are warning us of the error to push us out of this absurd prison in which we have unconsciously cloistered ourselves. Life (that We Are) wants to use its Capacities to achieve evolutionary and positive results; not to lock them in a drawer (“way of being”) full of routines, mediocrity and lies.

Importance of controlling the “feeling” of truth

Feeling of truth has two devastating effects: it keeps us in constant conflict with the world around us and it prevents us from learning to function better. The more we are convinced that we are right, the further we move away from it.

We have already seen that all knowledge is limited in breadth and depth, biased by our position in the world and emotionally distorted to the extent that we are involved (dependencies). So whenever we feel or say “I KNOW” we are overestimating our knowledge, or in other words our point of view. This is especially problematic when it occurs in the situations and areas that have the most influence on our quality of life. The most important ones to review are the ideas we have about ourselves and those around us; especially when they come from ideologies (political, religious, anti-something movements…) as they tend to turn any “idea” into rigid and closed beliefs.

Don’t trust anyone who wants to “tell you the truth”; believing is the opposite of learning. It’s about being a bit more honest; about looking at the world with a clean look and a curiosity full of questions. In this we can learn a lot from children; the problem is that it is they who learn from us.

Paradoxically, only an ignoramus can elevate his point of view to the rank of truth. Don’t you find it strange that everyone is more or less wrong except you and those who think like you? Do you remember that a few years ago you believed different things but you were just as convinced? Take these questions seriously.

Let’s start to lower our ego-centric conviction.

If our results are bad, we need to consider that we have something to learn and not attribute our problems to the world. We have to find a way to adjust to the Real Patterns that the situation presents. Reality is never wrong. How many people do we know who consider that they might be making mistakes? And how many who blame their problems on their own clumsiness? You don’t have to look anywhere else: the invented character with which we confuse ourselves (I idea) is behind the mistake, our ego lives on appearances so it cares very little about truth or reality. If you want to know if he is the one who makes the decisions, you only have to observe what he is going to do with all this information we are giving him.

It doesn’t seem so absurd to me: what we need to do is to Re-Enable our Capacity to Reflect and ask ourselves Questions. Discomfort and unresolved conflict are signs of stubbornness. Reality “speaks” to us with evidence; but our sense of truth obviates it again and again. And be very careful: there is only one thing more clumsy than denying evidence… denying that it is being denied.

Our brain is a tool that should be at our service and stick to its natural functions: to keep the biological system functioning properly, to obtain information, to help us to order it properly and; only when we deem it appropriate; to put its processing/speculative capacity at our disposal. The rest of the time she has to be quiet; we have to make it very clear to her and force her to obey.

To achieve this, the first thing we have to do is to TRULY RECOGNISE that our mind and its beliefs have taken over our life. To feel clearly that our natural curiosity and ability to learn have been hijacked by our fears and routines. Only then can we begin a progressive process of mental decontamination that will help us to gradually rescue the innate talents of our Real Self and its creative potential. Life will not allow us to be truly at ease if we do not recover the treasures it has given us.

We have to be aware that we are dealing with probabilities, not certainties. How can we feel certainties from four biased and distorted pieces of information? Our mind is dedicated to complete the ambiguous and scarce data at its disposal using installed beliefs, schemas and prejudices; it does not do so in a reflexive or impartial way. Beliefs and ideologies are the opposite of freedom; they are the main sources of conflict and discomfort. Real Satisfaction and Sum Capacity are the only reliable indicators that you are closer to “the truth” (Patterns/Law of Reality that you are dealing with). We have become accustomed to dissimulate, alleviate or outright obviate our complicated and mediocre way of living. Bad roll.

Reinforcers of the Sense of Truth

THE UNAWARENESS OF OUR IGNORANCE: as long as we do not have the slightest suspicion that we are wrong, we cannot point to our attitude as the main cause of our problems. We need to learn to observe and manage our beliefs, judgments, emotions and behaviors more appropriately, instead of spending our lives complaining and throw balls out.

THE INSECURITY OF OUR CHARACTER – EGO-IDEA: The Mental Models that we have swallowed (Me /Ideal World) are the maximum exponent of “common sense”:

– They pretend that Reality adapts to our Ideals (Eye: to those of each one of us).

– They pretend that Reality is predictable. Our character panics about “I don’t know” because it sounds like uncertainty. But Reality is unpredictable and multi-variable, it depends on so many factors that anything can happen at any time. That’s just the way it is. Imagining truths puts us in a very vulnerable and risky position.

As long as the Ideal Self/World is in control we will have to work too hard to achieve too little, we will have the strange feeling that something is missing and we will be too dependent on external stimuli (insecurity).

It is clear that we are somehow aware of our insecurity and incoherence; but we do not know what is wrong with us and how to fix it. What we do is to cover it up by pretending to be secure and coherent. Until we recognise that our poor performance (internal and external) is due to our pathetic level of Adjustment to Reality, we cannot reduce our ignorance and the need to hide and alleviate it.

– IGNORANCE OF THE HIGH IMPORTANCE AND LOW QUALITY OF OUR MENTAL SPECULATIONS: We have to handle possibilities (not certainties), to decide using terms like “probably” “it seems to me” “with these data…” Everything we see and hear has fillers; and almost always contains some more or less unconscious intentionality. Look at what we see but don’t jump to conclusions. Until we believe a thing, it cannot manipulate or harm us. The only way to maintain control over our decisions is to handle experimental hypotheses.

– EGOCENTRISM: This is the feeling that our invented ego-character conveys to us that we are the very centre of the known universe. Self-importance of this caliber is the only possible explanation that we take, again and again, our point of view to judge everything. The Sense of Truth prevents us from imagining the possibility that we are missing information or that we are misinterpreting what is coming to us.

BECOME AWARE OF THE THREE FACTORS OF MISMATCH:

The Sensation of truth, and the problems it entails, can only be eliminated by taking seriously the recognition of the three factors that mark the DISTANCE between our “points of view” and Reality:

1. LIMITATION: We always lack information; we have to use hypotheses instead of judgments and ask ourselves some questions that control our ability to imagine realities. It is very easy to understand: limiting our Comprehension Capacity reduces the possibilities of improving the results in whatever issue we are dealing with.

2. SESGO: We neither have the truth nor are we impartial. Our Mental Model filters the data we receive and elaborates our subjective “reality”; which is unique, personal and non-transferable (if you don’t want to get into trouble, forget about others admitting it; they already have theirs and they are just as convinced as you are). Our Models and Identities are egocentric; count on differences of interpretation and you will be less upset. Don’t fool yourself and don’t be fooled: it is practically impossible for others to think like us, and we have as much chance of changing them as they have of changing us. From time to time try to put yourself in their situation and see what happens. You need to decant this: everything I perceive is relative, unpredictable and impermanent. You also have to be careful with other people’s sense of truth; it’s good to be interested in their opinion, but be careful not to give them too much reel; if you give them too much reason (“yeah…” “it’s true…” “you’re right…” “too bad luck”…) then don’t complain that your friends are a bunch of “nags”.

3. DISTORTION: This third and final factor of maladjustment depends on emotionality and has its origin in the importance and involvement we have in the subject. If the mind thinks that something may affect us, it will use our biological mechanisms to provoke an internal movement (e-motion) with the idea of protecting us. But it turns out that emotions are designed for survival situations and, in order to obtain maximum resources for defense, they stop or slow down most of the organism’s functions, including the ability to reason (ask yourself questions when a lion comes at you). So far so good; the problem begins when we become emotional over anything, totally losing the ability to reason and find calm solutions to the problems posed by our mental software.

Our culture has insisted on selling us emotions as a kind of “joie de vivre”; they saturate us with stimuli and “needs”. What we achieve with this absurd approach is to atrophy, little by little, our capacity to feel and enjoy the little everyday things, including ourselves. We must avoid emotional distortion by controlling both euphoria and unpleasantness; you can’t imagine how many stupid decisions can be saved.

Reprogramming questions and images:

We have to find our own decantation questions and phrase-images to guide the subconscious in the right direction. Here are some examples:

-Why is it good for me to control my Feeling of truth?   Because it closes the doors of Learning and opens the doors of conflict.

-What is the best position to ensure a good learning and improvement process?   Keep Calm and Analyse with some distance.

-Is it in our best interest to understand the point of view of others as well as possible? Understanding others better will certainly make things easier for us; then we will decide.

-What is the key to correct learning?    Asking questions and asking oneself is fundamental.

-Who controls my life now?    My beliefs; I am going to review them to regain control.

 

***SUMMARY OF THE CIRCLE OF THE THREE MISTAKES:

-The Three Fundamental Errors we are constantly and automatically making are “I Am”, “I Need” and “I Know”.

-The Mental Chains (Belief-Judgment-Emotion-Reaction), which have taken control of our lives, are sustained by these Three Errors.

-We have learned to function in this way by Emotional Conditioning, so a Quiet Deconditioning proceeds.

-WHAT OUR ADJUSTMENT CHALLENGE REQUIRES IS:

1. – To lower our Sense of Truth by training Non-Negotiable Calm (Affective Field Control).
2. – To train our Understanding Potential by recovering the Questions (Orderly Analysis of the situations that require solutions and/or improvements).
3. – Strengthen our Executive Capacity (decision making) based on well analysed criteria, concrete strategies and a rigorous follow-up of the results.

WE ONLY NEED TO BE CLEAR ABOUT THE SPECIFIC AREAS IN WHICH WE ARE GOING TO EXERCISE OUR IMPROVEMENT PROCESS:

4.2 “PROBLEMS” YOU WANTED

We have given this name to those entrenched issues or problems that recur daily, translate into recurring worries and invade our ability to enjoy life.  Repetitive issues that, if left unadjusted, tend to turn us into resigned automatons or worsen, creating even greater problems. These are our real Adjustment, Improvement and Learning zones.  We have to locate them in our 3 Inner Planes (Physical, Chemical and Mental) and in our 3 main Areas of interaction (Family, Social and Work).

This is the correct strategy to eliminate our Cyst Problems:

Q1: The first thing to try is a Constructive Adjustment. Analyse well the root/causes of the problem and come up with intelligent solutions; in other words: clarify our ideas and take a resolute, constructive and firm attitude; so that the other party notices that he/she is offered a reasonable way out that also takes into account his/her point of view. It is a matter of making it clear that the matter will be resolved one way or the other, and assuming one’s real responsibility when it comes to making decisions. If done well, this first option usually produces the best possible outcome.

In the event that the sum or a reasonable agreement is not possible, we move on to the second option:

Q2:  Firm and calm elimination of the problem. If the other party does not come to their senses after a reasonable and measured margin, it is time to prepare an alternative that minimizes the effect that our fears and dependencies will have on our ability to decide. Otherwise, we will be back to square one with the added bonus of being a manipulable weakling:

Q3: Zone of habituation, mediocrity and conflict. Getting annoyed again every day with the same issues; settling into weakness and resigning oneself to whatever for fear that “the cure will be worse than the disease”. Well, it’s probably not necessary, but I’ll tell you what will happen if we don’t adjust our cyst problems:

– We will help others to convince themselves that we are dependent and manipulable.

– We will multiply our discomfort and boredom unnecessarily, combining small annoyances with passing reliefs.

– Eventually the problem will explode and be “solved” in an uncontrolled way, i.e. emotionally and not strategically.

The attitude of Adjustment will guide us to detect problems as soon as possible (even “see them coming”) and, of course, by no means allow them to reach Q3. If one gets there, we will immediately apply Q1 or Q2.

Of course, in the resolution of Cyst Problems we will apply AVIA (Analysis-Visualization-Impact-Action), a technique for Subconscious Reprogramming which we have already discussed and which we will see in more detail in the Application Techniques block of our Adjustment Course. These problems or areas of adjustment often contain emotional blockers that need to be cleared to regain our ability to deal with them properly, but with a little training you will get the hang of problem solving.

Finally, take a look at this Summary Chart of the 7 Pillars of the Adjustment Method and see if you are able to get your mental programs to let you start this interesting and very important Challenge.